and I could do anything I wanted."- Jack Kerouac
I savoured that moment and was always filled with good intentions. The first page was duly written in my very best handwriting. Slowly and meticulously I formed each letter like a work of art, I wanted it to be beautiful and my heart would sink just a little if I faltered.
I wanted to keep the whole book like that, I wanted my writing to be straight and neat. I didn't want to cross things out, to make mistakes or lose focus.
But of course, with writing as with life, I did.
Sometimes my obsession with the neatness of my first page made me try too hard, my hand became stiff and unresponsive my mind was 'trying to write' not trusting that my hand knew how to do it. Other times I was rushed, uncaring, thinking of other things and my writing sprawled and stuttered across the page, punctuated with little mistakes and tripped up by smudges.
It always worked best when I was relaxed and calm, mindful of the moment and trusting my hand to function as an extension of my mind and heart, because then I would just let the words flow fluidly across the unwritten page.
I have realised as I've got older that even though the neatness of the writing is still important to me, for I am an aesthetic soul and appreciate the beauty in things. It is so much more important what meaning I am filling my pages with. What story is filling up my book?
We can, if only we realise it, choose to start a new page at any moment. Each morning is ripe for a new beginning but it is here at the turning of the year that lots of us are thinking of what we wish to write into our next year, into our next chapter.
So, I'd like to send you my blessings and wish you good writing! May your story flow and may it be a beautiful one.
and it can be like a flash of lightning that shows the same landscape
from a different aspect."- Isaac Babel